Tuesday, 12 February 2013
Train up a husband....
When we returned home we painted and got messy! So to the bath we march ourselves after we completed our masterpieces! Judah and Josiah have a great time playing and splashing about in the tub. Once Josiah was clean and all played out (which is translation for he was becoming too pruney so Mommy made him come out) Judah asked if he could stay in a bit longer. I must admit the fact that my son wants to be in the bath and get clean makes me happy b/c I am pretty sure that like most boys he will go through that horrible anti hygienic stage...Lord help me...so I said he could. After he gets out, he dresses himself and comes down...only to announce that he would like to have a few jobs to do to earn some money toward his toy of choice. I have no objection! So I asked him to hoover the whole of the downstairs, tidy the toys, and bring any dirty laundry to the kitchen. And so it begins, Judah eagerly begins his jobs...then all of a sudden I hear this commotion and screaming coming from my precious 2 year old. Josiah is screaming and fighting over the hover with his big brother! What a wonderful problem to have. I sort it out and give Josiah a job so he feels helpful and big like his brother.
It is never far from my mind that my boys will be husbands one day (if the Lord tarries). I want to do right by them an train them up to be husbands who can show their wives that they can be a partner in marriage. I have boasted or bragged on my Judah before because of his willingness and even eagerness to help do dishes or tidy up only to have some Negative Nelly open her big gob and say something as silly as "enjoy it while he is this age because he WILL grow out of it and soon". Well to that I say, in most cases that is probably true and I will tell you why. Our children have a natural desire to be helpful and serve us. Watch any child from around 18 months up....they want to please and are eager to copy. The problem is that we as parents can do it better and faster! HUGE Mistake! I am guilty of it myself and have had to correct that in me. How are our children going to learn how to be an active member of a family if everything is done for them. So what if they don't fold the clothes they way you would, or the towels the way that you like them. So what if all things aren't exactly the way you do them.....who are you trying to impress (mind you this is a conversation I have had with myself....well that the Holy Spirit has had with me). What is more important, your boys learning to be active members of their families or your house being immaculate? There are correct ways of doing things and in time those ways can be expressed. However, it doesn't really matter if the towels are folded into thirds or halves....does it? I think it is worth being expressed here in this place, often times women wonder why their husbands don't help around the house and in my experience (from what I have seen, heard and even read on facebook) it is because they are told that they aren't doing it right, or well enough, or in some cases have over heard or read something that their wife said or posted in jest about how they did something....ie: "bless him, he tried". If I heard that enough I wouldn't want to lift a finger to help either. If you hang your washing from the hem and I from the top does it still DRY the same? Yes, it just isn't the way YOU would do it...doesn't make it wrong. So any of you wives out there who have husbands who fold the laundry different to you....don't get on him about how he didn't do it right, swoon over him and show him how much you appreciate him doing it..that goes for all things.
One of the principles we are teaching our boys is about the responsibility of husbands/fathers. Not all families work in the same way, I understand that but this is how it is for US. Please don't write me ranting and raving about how both parents have to work...I get that in some situations that yes both parents have to work and in some situation there is only one parent! I get that. For us this is the choices we have made and this is what we are teaching our children. Daddy has a job. He is faithful and diligent in what he does. He works hard and doesn't cheat his employer by doing things half way. He does his job with a happy heart as unto the Lord. That doesn't mean that their aren't hard days or days that Daddy doesn't have pressure/stress however, he continues on and does what is his responsibility. In saying that, we have allowed Judah to earn money doing certain jobs. There are some things that he will need to do because he is a participating and active member of this family however I want him to feel a sense of accomplishment and pride knowing that he has worked for something and earned it. One day I hope that this training will have prepared him for a job and set him up to succeed and have favour with his employers. It is also my prayer that through this training he will see the importance of sharing responsibilities in the home. My boys have a great example of that in their Daddy. Matthew is such a blessing to me. I stay home with the children and tend the house however, with home educating and providing opportunities for the boys to play and learn doesn't always allow for the house to be spotless....so my husband who works a full time job outside of our home comes home and helps to get these things done. I am not lax or ho hum about my response to his doing these things. I am always verbal about my appreciation. Matthew often goes above and beyond my expectation of him in these areas. I think for me coming in to a clean kitchen or the living space having been tidied up is the equivalent to a bouquet of flowers. I suppose he knows my love language and it is acts of kindness....I love that he can speak my love language!
So today I pray that my sons will continue in their eagerness and willingness to serve and help others, that starts at home. Train up a husband..........Holy Spirit help us.